Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Paganism And Polygamy

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Polygamy itself is usually enough to give people pause, let alone putting it within the religious confines of Paganism, which for some reason is enough as it is for a lot of people. But when I think about the free love and emphasis of freedom I see many Pagans advocate, I wonder how well it would fare if put in the scope of polygamy. The practice itself is nothing new, something that is practiced the world over, though frowned upon by cultures such as American culture. The reasoning as far as I can see is because we root for monogamy, having only one partner in the mix and no one else. For many it works fine, but others see things a bit differently and are seen as promiscuous or sluts because of it. Its definately not for everyone, it takes a certain level of maturity to date more than one person; with many quickly getting jealous and accusations of favoritism, it leads to more trouble than its worth.

I put this in the realm of Pagandom and specifically nature oriented faiths because of its focus on doing things naturally and because of its views which are sometimes in conflict with "modern" society. Could polygamy become an accepted practice within the faith? Allowing people who would normally be in hiding about their sexuality to feel unrestrained in expressing their love for multiple people at once? Its a question I ask on a daily basis when considering such a thing. We already accept those who happen to be LGBT without much of an issue, hopefully this graciousness can be expanded to everyone.

I myself tried polygamy for a little while and it was weird at first, it soon became something that I actually liked. Both girls knew of course or it would be cheating and neither had an issue with it because they knew I would love them both in equal portions. The reason I wanted to try it was because I wanted to try something new and it was surely alien to me. But now that I think about it I probably will try it again sooner or later if I can find the right group of people. It takes some real open minded people to delineate from the monogomous realm and try it without thinking it gives them license to date as many people as they choose without restraint. Some groups do this, but I prefer a more restrained allowance of the amount of people I date and let others I date date. You don't just jump into it thinking you're going to get fabulous threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and six way pleasure schemes. If that's what you're in it for then of course more power to you but be safe and make sure all your partners know.

As an eco-Pagan with strong religious conviction I feel that multiple love is something fine in my spirituality. Consider the obvious fact that few animals stay purely monogomous for the duration of their life, having many partners by the draw of their last breath. Though we as humans like to think of ourselves as different, we're simply animals that have a special ability of exceptional thought. Of course its hard to see that special ability when you consider the idiocy of politicians, companies, and citizens who think they know what's best for everyone when they don't.

It can be both a blessing as well as a curse like any relationship, for me it gave me a sense of freedom from my culture, which has so many idiotic rules in my opinion about dating, love and what to do with it. It felt good to be with people who were free thinkers and saw things radically different from the rest of society. Though now the reasons for wanting to return to the polygamous lifestyle is different from how it was years ago, experiencing freedom is what still lasts.

In any case, I'd like to thank you for reading this post and hope that it stimulated your mind to think about different forms of relationships that are different from your own. If you happen to be Pagan or any sebsect of it, I hope it opens your mind to it and has you look into the practice further so you learn more about those who follow different lifestyles. Its a big world we live in, might as well get to know the family!!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Relationships and Faith

Interfaith dating is such a thorny subject, filled with a plethora of conditions, circumstantials, debate, worry and all that cheese, so is it worth it?

There are plenty on both sides that have their own testimonials on how delightful or terrible it is, so who's right?

To be honest, I believe that it depends on the couple since things as important as faith can better both involved or it could knock the couple sideways. Many know of the first hurtle that can come up when things go bad, one or both people involved believing that they eventually make the other convert.

That one issue is the most significant pain in the ass in my mind because it reeks of distrust and being shady. Limiting your actions and interactions to try and outrightly force or slightly edge another away from the beliefs that they may hold near and dear to them.

That was the prime issue that held me back from doing an interfaith relationship, worry that my partner may be a bible-thumper in disguise since he long knew of my Pagan status. Eventually I got over it since my resolution was to leave him if he ever tried to hit me with an ultamatum down the road. I trust him, but you never know 100%

So with all of this talk of being weary, do you think you should commit to an interfaith relationship? To be honest, my belief is that if you think its right for you then jump.

The key to any good relationship is to have good communication, if the both (or whatever the number may be) of you don't talk about the topic of faith beforehand,  then you could very well be setting yourself up for heart ache.

I would even go a step further, if it were me, to try and guage whether the person(s) I'm trying to date have a strong bond with their parents. Many people do, I recall a time where a girl who I liked had no issue with my faith, yet when her religious parents found out barred her from seeing me. It sucked, but eventually she stood for herself and gave them her ass to kiss.

If you know the person has strong ties with their parents, it may be a good idea to either be honest and let then know if they don't already, or form a good relationship with them beforehand.

Such wonder can be found in interfaith dating, for one you expand your awareness of other cultures and traditions, which can further your own practices and faith dedication. You can gain deep insight by revealing and being shown something that may be intensely private, which of course cements the relationship and the love you share.

At first it may be daunting, imagine going to a mosque, church, temple, or ritual space for the first time!

Though I would personally feel a bit nervous of such a prospect, if someone thinks of you in such a way to invite you to a religious event of theirs, take it. If you're not yet ready then speak up, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with.

I could go on and on, but in the end the decision is up to you, don't go in the situation with a negative frame of thought, that only poisons the well you're about to drink out of. Instead, keep an open mind and heart, that way you set the stage for great blessings you both can enjoy.

With communication, love, and honesty, any people of any faith can have long lasting bonds and love, don't limit yourself to any one person or faith tradition, you only do yourself a disservice.