Radical Pagans?

Every religion has its fundamental fanatics that want to revert back to the core tenets of their faith, stripping away the mainstream face they put on to gain acceptance by society. I often wonder about the radical Pagans who are around us and when they will have a large enough following to gain traction. Think about it, you have those who rail against abortion, those who rail against contraceptives, and people who detest those who happen to be Muslim (or any faith not of theirs for that matter). How long until we see those who advocate for having a zero emission, zero pollution footprint? Pagans who denounce those who live the modern urban lifestyle with buses and trains?

Is it something I expect to see anytime near soon? No, but think about these radical nature conservationists that want us to all be vegan, not ride a single gasoline running engine or people who would kill a logger if they ever saw one. Its not that farfetched in my opinion, just a coming eventuality that we moderates will have to deal with sooner or later. The elements are there, it just hasn't hardened into a brute force yet…yet.

So beyond organizations such as PETA, ALF (animal liberation front), or even radical feminists (which have nothing to do with radical ecological groups, but are a present force within some Pagan circles), what should be done to ensure the pagan name isn't dirtied even further? In my opinion, nothing can be done, to me every faith has its lows and highs, at first -in some cases- starting to be very peaceful and loving and then a sect rises to destabilize what they may see as a corrupt way of doing things. Whether it be the religion the radicals want to change or a more upfront militant approach to soceity in general there's little we can do to stop it. I feel that one way is by living as good examples of what it means to be Pagan. Letting us and others around us live in a way where we aren't trying to force our beliefs down others' throats but trying to be more understanding to 'outsiders'. To want ecological change but do it in a way that considers human wants and needs, it can't be one sided.

By doing that as well as show others how peaceful we are in both a general and secular sense will people grow fond of us and know the true face of Paganism. Once the radicals make their destined debut then people who know us will know that they're their own group, separated from the heart of Paganism in a general sense.

My Faith Gives Me Strength

If someone needs faith to stop them from doing wrong then something is wrong with the person, not the faith.

I know that something is wrong with me, I understand that my faith and desire to not get in trouble are the only things stopping me from snapping. Exploding in anger and making my life swirl down the drain, never to be the same. My faith has been my only company on many occasions, the only thing holding me when I cry, comforting me when I feel the most alone. Even now, with yet another unnecessary and idiotic stress load being thrust upon me I feel wishing that the Dark Gods would take me into the cloak of their darkness. It is a mechanism that has always been a part of me. Things go horribly wrong and I look unto the pit of the darkness, not as a way to get away, but in wonderment as what could lie within. Nothing but nonexistence, my energy being used so that I may be reborn as whatever is required by the Earth Goddess as she slumbers.

I sometimes believe that I will soon be like one of those ultradevout Christians that always talk about their faith in one way or another when you speak to them. Not the ones that are constantly trying to convert you, but the ones who are so in tune with their faith that they're inseparable from it. I've been through so much emotionally speaking that taking me from paganism will result in me clutching onto it with a death grip. I wonder though, were I not made aware of paganism and was just alone without faith, friends, love, or anyone to make me feel good for myself, would I be here? I don't think I would be, even now I peer over the edge into the ether, so without faith I may decide to take the plunge. A depressed soul I know I am, but I need meaning to give me identity. For now I identify heavily with paganism, but I want more, this is one of many reasons why I want to be in the military.

As odd as it may be that a pagan is deciding to take part in the military A blog post that I need to make anyway its something that I feel I need right now to give me some form of happiness. I thought that simply getting a job would help, but extenuating circumstances of course crushed that. But looking to sadness never helps relieve the pain I've felt for so long, I'm robbing myself of happiness. But how can you look to find happiness when the land around you is dead and without sunshine?

Ugh, but I'm rambling now, seeing the pool of dread next to me and trying to drown myself in it for some sense of relief.

So at the end of the day will I decide to call upon the darkness to sweep me up and take me away from this world? No, I won't commit suicide, I'm too chicken to do it anyway, my will to live outweighs the desire for peace and eternal slumber. Though they're plenty if times where I wish I were dead, I can't do it myself.

One day I may be happy, and even if I'm not and destined to be sad and angry, I'll always have the Death God waiting for me with open arms...

Rise Of The Dark Gods

Just went through two rituals within the past two weeks and already I have to worry about Samhain?? Goodness, the Gods are working hard this dark year!

In any case, in a little under three weeks and a day I will be celebrating Samhain, the day where the darkness, life, and death are celebrated. For my stand alone tradition it is also the time where the Dark Gods are honored. In Mabon they were given form, a duality with next to no strength representing the two primary energies of the upcoming season, death and darkness. The Night Goddess taking her place upon the throne of the sky, the seat where the Sun God once reigned during his heyday in the light year. The Death God being the active force that responds in concert with the waning light, smiting all that do not have the strength to resist.

Even for those that have the strength to live they are plunged into the cold grip of the duality, learning the lessons that come with being blanketed with a black veil. With the freeze they learn to be thankful for their possessions, with the warmth they are thankful for the home, the family that they have and the peace that they give. As they enjoy the secularized religious holidays they are appreciative of the hard work and dedication it takes to be prosperous. It is a time where I personally enjoy my life and reflect on its progression up until now. To honor the roots of my existence and pay reverance to those who came before and shaped the very foundation of my existence. It is also a time to embrace the darkness and plunge in the cold, developing a new practice and sense of identity through the hard lessons taught. To not only look at darker aspects of the faith and of nature, but to accept and implement them in future practices.

For me Samhain is not The Witch's New Year as it is for many other witches, Wiccans, and Pagans, it is yet another holiday like any other. For me, the new year comes during Ostara, the vernal equinox, which is the first of Spring. I believe this because it is the time after the cold where the foundation of rest and spirituality is at its highest. From the groundwork laid in the dark half the light signals the rise of a new time and place within life, the arrival of warmth. Its just like when autumn trees drop their leaves to the cold, fertilizing the ground around them as they hot a low period in their life, hibernate in many ways. So it reflects that, rising from a low physical growth to blossom forth from the ground.

I don't have the ritual itself made, but it is something I'm going to work on over the next few days. Each holiday as new energies are brought forth I try to hit on a key aspect of that holiday. Last year I was unable to celebrate, the year before it was an honoring of the ancestors, so this year will most likely be of appreciation. Not situated around the past, but appreciation of what I have now and also relying heavily on giving honor to the Dark Gods. Though their lessons are usually hard lessons when compared to the light of the Light Gods, its still one piece of the puzzle of life. No one can get a better grasp on the vastness of life if they restrict themselves to only the positive or negative. Being fluid and opening myself up to all lessons is the best way I see of being a true practioner of nature.

I hope that all you who practice Samhain or any holiday related to its concepts have a joyous time and are blessed in every way.

Dealing With Fundies

Ah fundies, my favorite type of 'Christian', what all can I say about them? Bigot? Militant false prophets of their faith? People who claim to be of their Lord yet betray his teachings of love and compassion for all? All these adjectives and more can be used to describe their ignorance and seeming hatred of other faiths. Missionaries are just as bad, even worse considering that they outrightly try to get others to change their faith in place of Christianity. Though I detest them with a passion, I must admit that sometimes its hard to help my delight when one decides to come to me. Though it doesn't happen on a daily basis, I'm certain that it will now with me donning my pentagram in full public view.

First, let me discuss fundies in the public sphere then I'll get serious by talking about how to deal with them when they're in your own family. But let's have some fun first!

What puts the fun in fundies? Well, the nonabbreviated form is fundamentalists, which are Christians that hold to the very roots of Christianity. The fun part for me are their worthless attempts to get me to convert. Like, after FIVE years of being Pagan you honestly believe that you can get me to change my faith with a snap of your fingers?? I laugh at that, and every attempt they actually make...how sad.

In any case, it hasn't always been fun, I recall several attmepts I made to try and get some facebook Christian groups to understand who we were and to try and foster peace. This was back when I thought it could actually work, now I just leave it alone, but it ended terribly. Horrible arguments and outrageous claims of me being of 'satan' and trying to spread his teachings were shouted from the rooftops. Eventually and reluctantly I left, understanding that perhaps my efforts of understanding were as fruitless as their hopes to convert me. I've even had a special ex-best friend try to convert me, it was a long argument, but in the end we stopped talking. This is why I say to others to not show their faith publically unless they know they can take the issues that will inevitably arise because of it. It can get tiring, but over time your skin thickens and your resolve to be at peace with yourself becomes impenetrable.

So let's say that your in a mall shopping with friends, you're all wearing your various pagan symbols when a fundies dares to come to you guys talking about his God's disapproval of your actions. The usual response is to just pass him off, which works for the most part unless you have one of those persistent types. Now if all else fails get help, but if the situation isn't that dire and you don't feel threatened, it can be tempting to start having fun with him. I'm no authority to Paganism in any respect except when it comes to my own spirituality and actions, but its not always good to be condescending to the butt. Think about it, you're in a public sphere with dozens of people watching the interaction. Do you really want to be an ass to him and risk the surrounding crowd to have a negative impression of Pagans? Its your choice in the end, but at least think about the negative impact your actions can have when they see another Pagan somewhere down the road.

Unfortunately people generalize that way, taking the actions of one to be the actions of all. Think about how Muslims are treated in This country by a lot of citizens just because they are grouped With the false Muslims who perpetrated 9/11. The same is true when talking about a faith such as paganism, fundies especially looking at our beliefs and practices and deeming them the work of the devil. They are blinded by their own biases and ignorance and let it determine how they interact with others. This same ignorance is apparent in secular society when you have a faith that is generally misunderstood and misrepresented in America. So while it may be tempting not to, try to be as positive as you can maintain, that way you and others around you get a positive impression of you in a secular and religious sense. Hard it is, bit try you must.

It can be especially hard if you have people in your family who are fundies, while I haven't gone through that experience, I can only imagine how hurtful it can be. Felling as if you have to hide your identity, be faced with isolation or outrightly being disowned by them. I can only guess if this is the prime reason why some within our ranks have a searing hate for Christians and the faith itself. You can't blame them, even if it isn't conducive to bring the better men and women of the bunch. My own experience revolves around the aftermath of my own mother discovering that I 'secretly' left Christianity for atheism, then agnosticism, then into Wicca. Having to deal with the constant room searches, confiscation of religious materials, and near endless insults to my faith and gods led to me outrightly hating Christianity and her specifically.

As with everything I've been forced into, I dealt with it, though my knives against Christianity are still there, hidden. The best thing you can do is have hope in yourself as well as in your family. Mine eventually calmed down, partly due to constantly being reminded of it when they see me and me not caring what was thought of me when I started wearing my spiritually themed necklaces. Other parent(s) may not require this degree of I-don't-give-a-fuckedness, but it depends on your degree of bravery and how you know your parents to be. Sometimes love is the best option, to always kill then with kindness in the face of their cruelty. In my case I didn't give a damn what she (my mother) thought about me since we have a near nonexistent relationship.

Fundies can be fun, sometimes they can be very destructive to your own self confidence, but in the end do what makes you happy. Always have a positive outlook and always be true to yourself no matter who may be on the other end trying to push you to leave your faith.

The Ceremony Is Complete!

As of the morning of October 8th 2013 I, DeShadara, can call myself a full fledged Pagan! It was a wild ride getting up to this point, alot of stress and happiness, but it was well worth it in the end. The jist of the ritual was to give myself as well as Divinity an oath as to who I will be in a secular and religious sense from now on. To light each of the elemental candles formed in a pentagram to signify each truth of each element. At the end of this I, extremely happy and gushing with honor, picked up the silver pentagram necklace in the picture and declared myself a full follower of nature.

After it ended I was still shining with joy, my new necklace clanging as it moved over the beads. No longer would I hide who I am, sacrificing my own selfless gratifications just so that others may feel their selfish ones. Not wearing religious symbols so I or others I chill with won't feel 'out of place'. If I choose I will where it wherever and whenever I want, no if ands or buts about it. Its terrible that young people like ne feel the pressure to conform to the mainstream way of thinking, yet those who are of the more popular faiths feel as if its a-okay to wear their crosses. My faith is just as valid, and along with the strength I swore to hold true to, I will uphold the other four oaths I chose to abide by as well.

Now with this development comes the task of learning as much as I can. With me now having a job, I can access more information such as books since internet connection and Pagan oriented books at the library are nonexistent right now. There are plenty of different things for me to read up on, tarot, history of Paganism, different aspects, the works. Can't bite off more than I can chew, so I'll take everything one step at a time. For now I remain ecstatic at the big move I made today. May it remain in my heart for as long as I live.

Day Before The Oath

In a little under twenty-four hours I will present myself to Deity and will fully dedicate to the Pagan faith. Its odd how close it is, seemed like it was a long tine coming, a plan in the works since earlier this year. Now look at me, twenty years old and finally about to wear the pentagram in full public view. I'm so proud of myself…oh so proud.

Of course there was already a time when I wore the pentagram in public, back when I was a senior in high-school. The difference between then and now is that I will be wearing it just about everywhere I go, including having it in public display at home. Were I living on my own then this would be okay, but with a high opinionated mother I have to live with, this complicates things. Whether or not it causes issues isn't my problem, I'm more than old enough to make my in religious decisions and no matter what I will express my spirituality. The question is why now?

Well, I feel like now is a perfect time to solidify my faith because of all the tike I spent within it, getting to know the people, beliefs and settling myself within the tradition period. I feel like as I've grown as a person and a man that this Pagan path is right for me, comforting me through my tears and strengthening me when I'm weak. Though I haven't shopped or experimented with other faiths the past five years of my life, I feel in my heart that this is the right thing for me to do.

This decision will change some things, especially on how I'm percieved publically. Being in a primarily Christian county already means that there's a high likelihood that I will get nagative reactions from people who may recognize the symbol's modern day usage. Gasps, the shuffling away of children, perhaps even a talking to by braver individuals are just a few things that I expect. Do I care? For the most part, no, though I can't deny that there's a part of me that will always care about that sort of thing. I won't let that deter me or my freedom of self-expression though. You can't cater to everyone's thought without eventually having them live their life through you. Even with my mother being how she is, in the end I have to let myself be happy; and if arguments arise then so be it.

Beyond the personal level, wearing the pentagram will allow religious outreach to those who may be unaware or interested in what it means. I may even be lucky enough to encounter another Pagan, which would be fantastic. By assuming the position as relgious public relations for my personal faith, it allows people who ordinarily wouldn't encounter us to be left with a good impression of Paganism. Besides the fact that plenty wouldn't be able to see me beyond their religious convictions, at least I can plant the seed of interest in their minds. And over time they may even look back to my appearance, attitude and dialogue to reference how others like ne may act, especially if this is their first such encounter.

I hope tomorrow and beyond are full of blessings for me to reap, so close, yet it seems so far away...

Pagans After Dark

In the vast world of Pagandom you have many sides, there are those who embrace the magic(k) and occult, and those who walk with the cycles of nature. Just the same there are those who walk in the light of the day, singing of the warmth, and those who dwell within the shadows and celebrate the cold darkness of the world.

This is not some game that many outsiders and a few converts like to believe, nor is it a fashion statement to make to scare your impressionable friends; the way of the Pagan has many different sections and rooms people dwell in. For some it is a permanent habitation within the glorious light of all that is good and loving, others may grow bored with the gifts of the Sun and partake in new ventures. Whether they be called 'Dark Pagans', or some other label, those who celebrate and embrace both the good and bad are just as pagan as white-lighters (i.e. people who focus on goodness, not meant as a derogatory term.)

I believe that knowing both parts of the coin is a good way to maintain a balance, dipping your toes in both ends of the pool. I once had the mistake of frowning upon those who practice 'darker' aspects of Paganism. Those who weren't about revering the Gods or celebrating it's cycles, but were into the occult and practices more esoteric in nature. Now it doesn't phase me, to each there own, but it shows the evolution one can go through if they allow the process of change to morph them into a higher being. To be more open minded of practices and systems that contradict the practitioner's. My erroneous flaw during the early years of my conversion was that I was so swept in by the brightened sun crowd, so dazzled by the light and love that the darkness became nonexistent to me.

At the time it was something that I needed, with family issues heaping and me feeling abandoned on the religious front I needed to feel love, so that's what I dove in to. Once I drifted to the other end of the spectrum, having a more balanced spirituality this time, did my vision begin to change. Topics such as death, the afterlife, the Dark Gods that take over during the set of Mabon, and esoteric practices became an interest of mine. Currently, I'm at the doorstep of the blackened halls, but soon I will step through and encounter the lessons I must learn to truly call myself a practitioner of nature.

So with all of this talk about the darkness, why should anyone who currently occupies the lighted world take any interest? Well, for one, its not a path for everyone. Just as there are some sports some are very good at by nature and people who are terrible with sports, its not for everyone. In my belief, dwelling in the other side can be of benefit because it gives new vision to the person who does it. It gives realization that not everything is what it seems, breaking the illusion and muting the blinding glare that decieves one's perceptions. Issues that have been buried away with hopes of never being rediscovered are dug up and forced in your face. You must dive deep into your soul to face your demons and return with them gone.

On a religious level you diversify your practice and see another side that you wouldn't have encountered had you not left the verdent fields of bliss. At first it may be disarming and quite bothersome, but as you grow accustomed to the aspects of Deity that can be quite cold and scornful, you are made stronger. You quickly begin to gain the wisdom of a practitioner walking in the twilight, not being perfectly split between both worlds, but dwelling in both their glory.

Five Lessons Of The Pentagram

The pentagram has many different meanings depending on what religion you belong to as well as where you live. For some it represents evil, others protection, divination, magic(k), or a load of other things. But what does it mean to me? Well, being that I came to know the star through Wicca, my outlook of it tends to be spiritually centered. But being that I feel as if I'm on a different level than was when I was a convert, I think my thoughts on it has improved.

At first it represented the five elements, earth, air, fire, and water, the five building blocks and Spirits that gave rise to the world (world meaning universe in my jargon). To me they have another representation, the five key values of a Pagan; strength, love, knowledge, will, and balance. Each of these values correspond to the elements of earth, water, air, fire, and spirit respectively. As I wear my pentagram necklace with pride, I know that no matter what I'm faced with, that I will exercise these important concepts so that I will remain strong and be the better man, no matter the ignorance.

People could learn a lot from what the pentagram teaches if they simply opened their mind to learn its lessons. Its a lot like nature, if people were to stop demonizing and exploiting its resources as well as its earthly attributes and just opened to its functions we would be a lot better off. The pentagram itself doesn't belong to any one faith, but is a symbol that could mean anything a person or group decides to make it mean. The applied associations don't stay with it, but is a morphing thing that sheds and reworks things applied to it.

Let's consider something as simple as its placement, a topic that brings much debate as to its fixed meaning. For one camp in represents general evil in the sense that when one point face up means the spiritual over the senses while the other is the senses over the mind. For some this is true so its true to them where others see it as representing Satanism or darkness, banishment, a degree of Wiccan clergy, the list could go on frankly. But now you see that how with each individual and group the associations vary wildly on the "good-evil" scale.

With me I see things, not surprisingly, in a different context. While I concede that the pentagram whether inverted or everted could mean the previous list of things could also represent the balance of the elements. When its a single point up it could mean the elements arising from spirit, the force that expanded from a singular sphere to create all that is and will ever be. If they're two points up then to me it shows spirit arising from the four base associations. Both are actually true, But it proves how something as simple as a group of lines and your outlook could have a dramatic effect on how a symbol is percieved.

Holy In The Mundane

"When we seal the circle and the energy within, we create a different realm, a plane of existence set apart from the hustle and bustle of daily life. A new place is created, a place where the divine God and Goddess are called."

But is that really necessary?

The one issue that I have with the italicized statement is that it implies, whether explicitly or not, that one can only invoke the divine after setting apart a space made especially for them. Its not a mandate, but for the unassuming practitioner this creates a thoughtform that says that the mundane is somehow an unacceptable place to call upon Deity. One must realize that if the Divine is intricately involved in the formation and workings if the divine then that means all things be they considered mundane or holy is part of them. Everything exists for a reason and since that is the case then all things given rise should be respected.

Let's consider one of the most mundane things we look at, getting up in the morning and going to work. This process involves us having the biological capacity to wake up, get out of bed, eat breakfast, get washed up, and heading to work. Its so repetitious, yet we take it for granted, yet how would we feel if for a month we suddenly didn't have the ability to do any of that? Well, then we would be reminiscing the times where we had the efficiency to do such "mundane" tasks. We forget that its only mundane until we can't do it anymore.

When you do rituals in whatever form you do them have you ever considered doing a ritual without the cleansing? Going on keeping on without sealing the circle? If not, why not? Did you think it would open you up to harm or allow your life, your Deity/ies to feel unwanted, dishonored in some way? Think about the root reason you do cleansings and separations between holy and mundane, because you believe it will shield you from a negative event; or to essentially divorce from this world to create one that's "better suited" to the Divine's invocation.

My point is that many (though certainly not all) of us as practitioners are so concerned about creating a "better space" that we ignore the beauty of what is already laid out in front of us. We essentially leave behind the physical attributes and blessings of the Earth Spirit (however you may see it) and ascend into more ethereal, psychological realms instead of blending the two as one practice. Instead of acknowledging the protection we already have access to within our lovely minds by the Great Spirit in whatever form, we perform extra rituals and actions to seek removal into a different place entirely.

Its easy to see things as mundane when you have access to it nearly all the time, but to a blind man being given sight for the first time, the forest is a sacred space just by it existing. For each person in their own way of life they see things in a totally different spectrum. Take the time to get to know this mundane world that we so constantly name it. See how as you practice and become better attuned to the cycles and rhythms of nature how every aspect of it also seeks to know you better.

For at least one time, do a ritual without sealing the circle or cleansing the space, walk into it knowing that your God(s) or lack there of protect you with the shining light and mysterious darkness that gives all who wish you wrong fear in their heart. Your power is within you, know it, take it, and shape your spirituality how you will it. Always know that the Divine will always be with you and love you every step of the way no matter how you call them.

Hallowed Pagan Halls

In an imaginary world I envision a grand structure that stands the test of time. A multi acre plot of land that hosts some of the grandest art, books, spaces, classes, and people who wish to learn about the Pagan way. A grand hall where everyone is free of the missionaries and fundamentalists, able to exercise their faith as they please without regret or fear. A monument to the earth and its blessings, a Pagan concept for Pagan people, what a place it would be.

A place where greenery flourishes for those seek a natural atmosphere, atop the expansive roof they may go to practice their rituals and celebrations, have outdoor parties and gigantic gatherings. No one would have to worry about taking up too much space, with the enormity of the area many rituals can be held at once. For those seeking a more private experience they can go to any outside area on the grounds and meditate as they wish. Surrounded by trees, bushes, and edible plants, they can have a great time in blissful solitude as long as they want.

For those who want a more urban flair the inside of the building will be perfect for them. With a delightfully ominous glow, the inner sanctum is laid with stone so if they wish to draw chalk circles for magickal use they may. If it happens to be stormy out green practitioners may also go there to meditate supplied with cushions so they aren't hurt by the stones. They will also be allowed to bring music so long as it doesn't interfere with other practitioners and worshippers. Beyond use as a meditative area, the inner sanctum serves as a study area for those who want to read and study via side areas with desks and chairs. The main area where meditations occur also allows for group worship and a place for workshops, speeches, what have you.

Shops would also have a presence, selling candles, crystals, ritual tools, everything one would need at affordable prices and with knowledgeable staff to assist them if needed. There would also be a multimedia room complete with books, computers, and a projector room so the community will be free to access the internet and look at movies free of any type of religious pressure. Pagan faithful would gather, but they wouldn't be allowed to pressure anyone.

Daily food drives would take place to help the community as well. Visits to homeless shelters to give food and volunteer services where people in need will also be given. Charity will be a must to being there so that everyone will help their fellow man and be a blessing to the less fortunate. For people who have homes but are in dire straights, a community food bank will be available to save them from possibly going hungry or doing illegal practices just to put food on the table. As the money pours in, there will eventually be organic shops that are pesticide and cruelty free, which helps save money in the long term by offsetting health and emergency room costs. There would perhaps even be classes held by licensed holistic healthcare doctors to teach all who come ways to safely administer natural medicinal foods without needing to constantly pop pills.

This is just an idea of mine, but something I've always wanted to do sometime in the future, I hope one day that I or someone else is able to build it so we may have a large-scale temple to call our own. The idea is incomplete, but a project I mentally work on every now and again.

Is Paganism For Me?

Congratulations! You've made the first step of free thought by wondering if you truly belong in your hone taught faith! Even though it sounds like nothing, its something that plenty of people have to deal with on a daily basis. Feeling that even though they're making their parents and family happy that they are really lying to them, putting on a mask to hide their identity. The fact that you have made this first step in wondering if another faith is for you shows that you are becoming more self aware and brave enough to consider the unknown. Few are brave enough to think such thoughts, even fewer leave the faith they grew up with, feeling as if they are in a prison they can't escape from.

You must ask yourself why Paganism? Of all the faiths out there that are more popular and well known, what made you choose this hidden and oft misunderstood spirituality?

Before I left my native Christianity for eco-Paganism I was terrified, all the thoughts that were ingrained in my head made me reluctant to leave, fearing the worst. I was but a teen then, in tenth grade to be more precise, and boy was it a momentous occasion. I had it with Christianity and felt that I got no spiritual fulfillment being on my knees praying to a God I was told existed but never felt. No matter how I prayed I always felt restrained, held back by family tradition of going to church, praying, all that jazz Christians are supposed to do. Adhering like a robot to its commands, not thinking, not questioning, just acting- I had it.

You may or may not be at this point, but if you are, I heavily stress that you weigh your options carefully and not make rash and knee-jerk resopnses. We have enough people old and young who jump into esoteric faiths like Wicca or witchcraft just to make a statement, not for real spiritual reasons.

Do you think you could put up with your family if they somehow found out about your conversion? Even if you're really secretive that doesn't mean that its impossible for them to find out. All it takes is to see one Facebook post, one journal entry, one little finding to unravel all the secrecy you cloaked yourself in. You need to know that without a doubt you can handle whatever they throw at you no matter how negative it may be. "But DeShadara",you may say, "my parents love me and wouldn't do anything to make me feel bad or ashamed." I'm glad you feel that way, and you know your parents better than I, so you can speak of them more accurately than I,but remember that things aren't always how they seem. If they have strong religious convictions and you come to them talking how you're involved in another faith then things may not be as strawberry and roses as you think.

This goes even farther though. Do you think you could deal with the pressure given to you by others who will try to convert you to Christianity?

I'm not trying to scare anyone out of wanting to be Pagan, whether that be Wiccan, witch, Druid, Asatru or what have you. I'm trying to make sure that you, the perspective convert, know what you're getting yourself into, there's no point opening the door if you have no idea of what's on the other side. To make that next step into conversion means that certain things will change and could change if you decide on actually doing it, I just want to give you forewarning.

So once you figure out if you want to be in the faith you need to figure out why you want to. What sets paganism apart from your current faith? What rules, traditions, way of thinking, customs make things so unworldly terrible that you feel the need to leave it? Now is a perfect tine to consider these things because you can really give yourself a reality check. Everyone has their own reason, and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, but you will soon question why you made this life altering choice in the first place. Better prepare yourself by packing up everything you will already need than to go into the journey wishing you had.

Once you've crossed that hurtle, plus whatever else you think you need to address, you need to do your reasearch. There are plenty of good and bad sites out there just as there are good and bad pagans, you just need to have the discerning eye to question everything. I like to say walk in with the highest and strongest question mark on your face, ask why something is the way it is and the history/story behind it. ALWAYS QUESTION even the most mundane of pagan topics because everything has a story tied to it. Never just take things as they are because of customs, that's taking the easy and ignorant way out. Even though I could tell you sites that I personally liked I used on my journey up until now, that would be taking away the thrill of the search, so if you think you're ready to take the plunge then its time to start hunting!