Day Before The Oath

In a little under twenty-four hours I will present myself to Deity and will fully dedicate to the Pagan faith. Its odd how close it is, seemed like it was a long tine coming, a plan in the works since earlier this year. Now look at me, twenty years old and finally about to wear the pentagram in full public view. I'm so proud of myself…oh so proud.

Of course there was already a time when I wore the pentagram in public, back when I was a senior in high-school. The difference between then and now is that I will be wearing it just about everywhere I go, including having it in public display at home. Were I living on my own then this would be okay, but with a high opinionated mother I have to live with, this complicates things. Whether or not it causes issues isn't my problem, I'm more than old enough to make my in religious decisions and no matter what I will express my spirituality. The question is why now?

Well, I feel like now is a perfect time to solidify my faith because of all the tike I spent within it, getting to know the people, beliefs and settling myself within the tradition period. I feel like as I've grown as a person and a man that this Pagan path is right for me, comforting me through my tears and strengthening me when I'm weak. Though I haven't shopped or experimented with other faiths the past five years of my life, I feel in my heart that this is the right thing for me to do.

This decision will change some things, especially on how I'm percieved publically. Being in a primarily Christian county already means that there's a high likelihood that I will get nagative reactions from people who may recognize the symbol's modern day usage. Gasps, the shuffling away of children, perhaps even a talking to by braver individuals are just a few things that I expect. Do I care? For the most part, no, though I can't deny that there's a part of me that will always care about that sort of thing. I won't let that deter me or my freedom of self-expression though. You can't cater to everyone's thought without eventually having them live their life through you. Even with my mother being how she is, in the end I have to let myself be happy; and if arguments arise then so be it.

Beyond the personal level, wearing the pentagram will allow religious outreach to those who may be unaware or interested in what it means. I may even be lucky enough to encounter another Pagan, which would be fantastic. By assuming the position as relgious public relations for my personal faith, it allows people who ordinarily wouldn't encounter us to be left with a good impression of Paganism. Besides the fact that plenty wouldn't be able to see me beyond their religious convictions, at least I can plant the seed of interest in their minds. And over time they may even look back to my appearance, attitude and dialogue to reference how others like ne may act, especially if this is their first such encounter.

I hope tomorrow and beyond are full of blessings for me to reap, so close, yet it seems so far away...