Paganism and Death

Death is not the enemy, Death is a friend. People and faiths all around the world act as if it is something to be avoided, to be hated, but through the pain it causes there is a blessing, a gift that could not be attained by any other means.

It is the great equalizer, a force that takes all things and is a blind smiter, ignorant of color, religion, money, nationality or social standing. It is feared because it can come at any time for any reason and cannot be fully controlled. With our laws and treaties we stop one another from bringing death and harm to each other. Death is not so timid, coming with the strength of a hurricane, the devastation of a bomb to cover borders far and wide.

Everyone has a place they would like to go when they die, a place of peace is what's generally considered, where death is nonexistent and joy is full and reigns supreme. My personal belief goes counter to all of this because I see all of these heavens as simple wishful thinking. We have no idea of what happens when we die beyond us going into the ground, because of this I just incorporate that into my faith. As we are embraced by the numb grip of the earth, our minds as well as our body are taken; the spiritual (mental) death and the physical (bodily) death comes and we are gone.

We may be gone from this world, but as our cells and energy are broken down into the earth we come back as part of the driving force behind the clouds, animals and food that helps give rise to another life. In this sense we are all living embodiments of our ancestors, everything that we touch and will ever touch will be made out of some of their energy. When I look in the mirror I need not cry, I see my grandmother, my ancestors, everyone who has ever existed before me in me.

My personal faith and outlook towards death is very centered in doing things naturally as well. Once I figured out the process of embalming I was mortified. Why in the world would I allow my body to be returned to the earth full of poisons and preservatives? Each person has their own beliefs and desires, but for me, it equates to desecrating a gift given to me. I understand the impact that it could have as people who care for me get their last view of me, but I couldn't allow for such a thing.

If I were to die right now I'd rather a natural one without the poisons and sadness. What a great occasion it would be for me to return to my home! To go back to the reservoir that brought the whole of the land into existence. I want oils, flowers, torches, I want my burial to be a ritual in itself as my lifeless body goes to be used for another purpose. People will miss me, but I am happy to think of the day where I cross into the unseen world, back into the ether.

Odd isn't it? A young twenty year old thinking about what will happen when he dies, without a care in the world? It may seem idiotic, but death is the ultimate end and start, the very foundation of life. Why fear something that grants so much life? The soil, oil, and trees themselves depend on the breaking down of dead and dying matter to survive. Without death there would be no life.

Can You Be Atheist And Pagan?

Its not everyday that the Pagan Association *made up* actually gets an atheist showing up at its doorstep. Considering that they reject all forms of deity and divine figures while we embrace the polytheism (though not always) its almost unheard of, though not really.

So, can you actually be pagan while not believing in the God(s)/dess(es)? Well, yeah.

Even though paganism, or to put it more accurately, eco-Paganism, or neopaganism (however you choose to label it) is usually known for its poly-, mon-, duo- theism, that's not the sole indicator of what makes an eco-Pagan an eco-Pagan. The identifying feature of the faith is to celebrate nature in all of its changes, and to seek to restore our connection with the environment.

This isn't the official definition of what it means to be neo-, or eco-Pagan, its just the definition that I feel best describes that sect of Paganism. If you want broader definitions and correspondences make sure you do your research.

So how, why can an atheist assume the ranks within the Pagan world? Well its because of the simple fact that we welcome everyone no matter where they are or who they may be. We are very loose on our membership conditions, so as long as you respect us then come right on in. It may be odd to be the minority of a minority within a minority, but like I said, we're very welcoming and accepting people. How hard is it really when all you're doing is not speaking about any deity figure? To me, it seems like an easy fit since we don't even really push a specific Deity, or Deity in general, on anyone.

So what is an atheist pagan to do within the faith? Besides free access to all of our practices you can really just read books, attune to nature, take in all of its blessings, and become more in touch with yourself and the forces that surround you. Spiritual practices such as yoga, divination, tai chi, meditation are great tools to connecting better with yourself, just keep an open mind and you can reach a new awareness.

Spiritual freedom and enlightenment aren't tied to any one people or group, but a blessing we are all free to reap, so live, research and welcome!

Is Deity Really Perfect?

As a child I always heard that God was the perfect being, that he (coming from a Christian worldview) was capable of no wrong and all from him was righteous. As I grew up and started questioning such premises I began to realize why perfection was such a bad thing.

Even though these experiences and beliefs are solely my own and far from the only way of thinking, its a truth that is right for me at this time. As far as I can tell, with all the wars, disease, poverty, injustice and general negativity, I've come to the conclusion that an active God/dess cannot be perfect. If he or she is so intricately tied to the functions if the universe and earth in specific then he/she/it is a lazy ass and isn't worth my time. *to put it bluntly* However, when one considers the imbalances we see in the world, however bad we may see them to be, the truth is that with life you get a mixed bag of good, bad, terrible and terrific. Because we have this dynamic cycle of deficit and excess, life is able to grow and contract accordingly.

Imagine it like this, if you were to move your arm with five pounds pulling upward, yet gravity was pulling you down with the same force you wouldn't be able to move that arm. Or if the universe were to come forth with a perfectly even distribution there would be no life or beauty; just a stale mix of nothingness.

To have perfection is to have staleness because nothing ever needs to change, everything is always marching with its own monotonous drum. Nothing is ever truly perfect because that's nit the concept with which our universe is based upon. And if there truly is a deity attached to the fabric of the universe then it too is as imperfect as its creation.

You always have people who want to project their vision, hopes and dreams in other people and concepts. This is why American culture has the issue of Deifying athletes, celebrities and politicians to such inhuman standards, they expect too much from so little. The same is especially true in religion, where you have billions of people who are free to adopt, alter, make up, or push on others any way of thinking for their own gain. They're some who are victim card holders and adopt a God who will always take care of any harm or wrong done in the world. When things don't go right its because of some outside force and almost never a misjudgment on their part. You also have people who are independent and acknowledge both the good and bad done as being their own responsibility. Having a religious beluef just gives more hope to them as they live their life.

This is the great imperfection of life, not having a cohesive mix of ideas and belief structures, which fuels debate, yet another product of imbalance.

We are graced with the gift and curse of imbalance, never having enough or just the right amount, but through this constant turmoil of need and want, have and have nots, change is able to occur. The fierce explosion of change may occur where we do our damndest to ensure that things are done to their best, which will never be, but that's not the point. The point of this crazy imbalanced world is to try and bring change when we see it needs to be done. To have the honor and civility to say that even though things aren't right that doesn't mean it has to stay that way.

This, my friend, is what I mean by perfect imperfection, chaos is the beginning and end, we just try to adjust to it. By this constant adjusting, we thus prove that Deity in whatever form cannot actually be perfect.

Pagan Beliefs On Homosexuals

A lot of faiths out there have different views on everything, for some you can't seem to do anything without getting some type if reprimand, with others the rules are a bit more relaxed, however slight. But what beliefs does Paganism hold about homosexuality?

That depends on what you define as paganism. There are two 'types' of paganism, at least that's what it seems like when the faith group is being talked about. The first form is the actual definition if paganism, which is essentially any non-Christian faith; this covers a wide swath if religions. When you use the typical application of Paganism as any nature-based faith that believes in the practices of communing, protecting, and celebrating the changes of the earth, then we're talking about my crew.

So what does nature-based Paganism say about homosexuals? Good question, we say, "WELCOME!!" The thing one must realize about eco-Paganism is that we're very accepting to the LGBTQ community, even if you don't see all of us having rainbow flags on hand. Its not like other faiths where being LGBTQ is a strange foreign thing, instead, you're more likely to get weird looks if you don't believe in gay rights. It impossible to be a practitioner of nature while denying the most basic form of it, which is sexuality. It's perfectly natural to feel however you may feel about sexual orientation because unlike what others may say, transvestism, bi-sexuality, and homosexuality exists extensively throughout nature.

Freedom, love, independence, and ALL natural rights are things that we as a faith value highly. And even though we aren't as perfect as we wish we were, having our own squabbles, all out brawls and what have you on occasion; we do our best to ensure that all who take the Pagan banner are free to do as they wish.

The God Is The Goddess

            All is one and one is all

Everything that we see is made of the one creative force that existed since the beginning of the universe. The transfer from the formless but fertile mass of the darkness to the zest and dazzling shine of the light.

There may or not be a God/s,Goddess/es, of spirit/s, but whether there is or not is irrelevant because we will be working from the premise of there being one or more.

When many think of the God and Goddess, however they may be thought of, there is usually the distinction between what associations are in the God's realm and what is the Goddess's. This division, in my eyes, is incorrect for the simple fact that it limits one form or another to a singular aspect, which is in contrast to the nature of the universe.

Of course, each practitioner of nature is free to believe what they choose, my opinion is of my own just as yours is of you.

I take the usual God and Goddess astrological correspondence of the Moon being of the Goddess and the Sun being of the God. Why is this so? Why can't the God be of the Moon, emotions, magic(k), dreams and occult practices and the Goddess be of the harvest, Sun, the wild and nature? We sometimes get so wrapped up in what we're told is the "right" thing to think that we start making a dogma, which of itself is dangerous.

We see enough of this in other faiths, where one is told not only what to believe, but also considered not of the faith if they stray from the traditional teachings. This is something that I advocate against, especially in more eclectic pagan faiths where tradition is bent to fit the individual's wants and needs. By opening your mind and questioning the the things that you're taught, you allow for a more diverse practice and spirituality. My practice for example is unique to me, not being centered on usual pagan beliefs but instead on all. Anything can be used to represent anything and I do my best to ensure that I limit as little as possible when I do things such as ritual. Some things I do that are in conflict with most spiritual teachings and pagan practices (one of the most known being Wicca) comes with how I do ritual.

My invocations are done counter-clockwise, my elemental directions aren't the usual earth=north, air=east, fire=south, and water=west. For me, earth=south, fire=east, air=north, and water=west. The sun and moon don't have fixed gender correspondences in my eyes since they are one the same.

God and Goddess, just gender terms to describe archetypal forms, they are of and beyond gender, part of the cohesive mix that ties the knot keeping the universe whole. Once you open your eyes to mixing both forms and see their mark in all that you see will you gain new insight.

All in all, don't be afraid to think out of the box, Deity is a very bendable concept that can fit into any person's imagination. All you need is faith and the will to think outside the box, then like a blind who sees for the first time, you will see beauty in the most mundane things.

What Holiday Is In November?

So my manager finally asked the question I was dreading for so long,"What holiday is in November?"

Seems like an innocent question, right? In many respects it is, but to a Pagan who like many is suspicious and weary of those of different faiths- primarily Abrahamic faiths since its harassment galore with some in that faction- its not. We were in the managers' office with me and her sitting down opposite one another discussing my requested days off. As with the day I took off for Mabon and Samhain, which my manager lost in his usual busy haste, I expected no issue when I turned in *again* the request to take November 1st off.

As soon as I saw her squint in confusion at the date I knew I had a situation on my hands. "Mmm, November? What religion is that for?"

Immediately I was going to go ahead and say the reveration of the ancestors, celebration of the dead, thankfulness for all we have...but I'd be wrong. She asked what religion that was for, we didn't get to the meaning yet.

A flash through my head, 'should I tell her that I'm Pagan?' Then my mind snaps back to the time where she said a few weeks ago how she's trying to stop cursing to get closer to her Christian faith. Innocent enough, but still my paranoid red flags start waving, then I think about my present situation. I'm in my very first job surrounded by people I don't even know, people very well (though I have little proof) may gossip every now and again. Do I really want to hear whispers in the dark about DeShadara being Pagan? Do I really want someone to get pissed via their religious convictions to start the bullshit? Or if someone gets angry someday to look up pagan and come to my job with lies and ignorance being railed against me?

Again, let me stress that I don't know these people, they don't need to know my faith, they just need to respect it.

"I'd rather keep that private." She now thinks I'm just wanting a day off under two months from now for the hell of it, but that's okay because she puts in the request anyway, approved.

Even though that's all over, I still have to put in another holiday, Yule, and before that even happens I still may get the question of what exactly my faith is. By no means am I afraid of the question, I already know that if pressed I'll stone wall them and respectfully ask that they leave the issue alone. I've gone through a lot worse than someone being innocently curious, though the fact that I work with Christians and Muslims who may be -could be- like ones I've had to stare down online, at school and even in my own home makes me wary.

I don't like problems, and I know I'm grasping at strings at this point, but I'm pessimistic, I always think about the worst first.

Prominent Pagan Protest

Even though our numbers are small, I hope for a day where our religious and environmental protests are heard and actually noticed. Though this is a popular thought of many a Pagan, I wonder how many actually take part in the things that they protest against.

If you have the gall to speak up against something then of course you should be able to back it up with action. Now, many of the things we're against are so far reaching and invasive in our culture that its nearly impossible to avoid. GMO's, pollution, abuse of slaughter animals, deforestation, the list is extensive and avoiding all of these involves being an essential hermit.

So what can we do? Many of us are middle class and are without enough funds to finance a healthier, Earth- friendly lifestyle, so we have to take part in the environmental atrocities we are so against. That's no cause of shame, because it just intensifies the gravity and immediacy of the situation.

But how are we to make change?

Well, the way that I'm planning to make change is by getting into politics, a path that though boring will allow me to stress on vitally important issues for our and the Earth's sustainment. Even if I were somehow successful in getting the power needed to start making changes, I will of course be sensible in its implementation.

The shift toward a greener tomorrow will require a gradual shift. When it comes to the entirety of a country, nothing should be swift and rapid because that only opens the door for reckless behaviors and a knee jerk response, acting without thinking. This will empower opponents to point the finger at how swift footed the changes were, instilling fear in those who want the green way but are more economically focused.

Speaking of the economy, if we were to act in speed, the economy will likely be shocked, radical change with little time to adjust and adapt to it will be the end of the green cause for years to come.

I emphasise the need for slow haste because the reality that even if there were an environmentally focused politician, the slaughter, disrespect, and inhumane abuse of animals will have to continue for the greater good. What is the greater good? We as people of the earth will have to hold knowledge of countless animals and natural areas being violated for the possible outcome of having a sustainable way of living down the road. Its a terrible truth but something that must be dealt with, though with a heavy heart.

Of course, change occurs only when people push politicians to act. On their own I don't believe any politician would risk his or her office for a cause they believed in, especially of it were an unpopular one. With a groundswell of support by people across America, politically minded, green minded, parents, corporations, and religious leaders, change would come swifter than ever. To do that though there would have to be a cultural shift within these areas with precision timing.

The likelihood of this happening is low, unless there is a tragedy, which seems to be the only bell that gets heard in our culture. In any case, on both a religious and secular level, we need to get involved, send letters, sign petitions, take part in activism groups, the like. In other words:

Be the change you want to see in the world

A Minority In A Minority

Picture Source

As an African-American Pagan, sometimes I feel the pressure of discomfort as I celebrate my faith. Its not as if I feel alienated by others within my faith because of my skin color, not by a long shot. The discomfort stems from having very little contact with other pagans who happen to be black as well.

Its odd that so many people who have pagan ancestry are vastly detatched from that spirituality in my eyes. Within my own community I see plenty who honor their African ancestry with the garb and regalia and sometimes speech, yet once you try and go into the spiritual aspects that went along with the clothing suddenly they flatline.

I understand that during the time of slavery we were heavily indoctrinated with the Christian mindset, either that or be erroneously punished; but now that we don't have to worry about such a reprimand, we as a people seem to blackout that religious time period.

As I look at the people who are around me I sometimes feel the insecurity of feeling like the "other", as if I don't belong with the swaths of red, brown, blonde and black hair. As if I'm unwelcomed, not by others' actions or deeds, but by having no one to relate to me on a cultural perspective of being a black Pagan. I have no issue with my brothers or sisters of European descent, I just wish there were more African-Americans like me who know how it feels to leave the predominantly Christian culture.

All's Ready For October!

Okay, not EVERYTHING is ready for October, but beside I few spare candles and a lighter I need to buy, everything is all set for my Day of Conversion ceremony.

Now, once I celebrate I will be, in my eyes, I full fledged Pagan. Though it took nearly five years of waiting, I finally feel as if I'm at the point where I will be able to take the first steps of fully realizing my spiritual path.

Don't take the five years too seriously, being that I'm just hitting twenty and for the last four out of those five years being spent learning next to nothing (100% broke and for the most part without internet connection) I feel like now would be the perfect time for me to reset my religious counter. That means that starting the moment after I officiate myself on October 8th, 2013 I will go from five year Pagan to day one of following the path.

It sounds quite drastic but is something I've felt needed to be done for quite a while now. Most of my time was spent in a not so happy place from a religious perspective and by doing this I feel that I'm putting a nail in that coffin; gone, but never forgotten. That release is just what I need, so I'll take it with a smile on my face and with an "S" on my chest.

The first order of business is not to reduce my practice to the basics, but to rebuild from the foundation up, much like The Tower in the tarot. By drilling down and overviewing from step one, I can quickly rebound and launch into a new stage of ritual and closeness to the Gods. I'm not daunted by the work ahead, I'm just happy that I'm finally in a position where I will be able to work on myself in the most important of aspects.

Faith has gotten me through a lot over these years, has increased as time wore on and has been the only thing that was really with me when all felt lost and I, abandoned. I will swear my allegiance to the whole of nature, getting in touch with all of its sides, both the light and dark and twilight areas. To learn of its functions on a religious as well as scientific perspective, so that the two will mingle in a cohesive mix.

On a spiritual level I realize that my rituals are lacking in zest, not in a dramatic flamboyant way, but in meaning and symbolism. Being that I'm so in my head and stiff, I hardly if ever move when I'm doing rituals, mainly keeping my words and actions in my head rather than actually doing them, which I know is quite odd for many Pagans. Loosen up, get out of my head and convert that love and devotion into movement and pride of the feminine and masculine energies within. Its a waste not not use it, so I need to set my feet and voice box aflame with action!

Easier said than done, but I realize that I need a holistic approach to invigorate my inner drive, as it will it, so shall it be.

In any case, I know that with a lightened mind and joyful heart, careful planning and watchful eye, I will be successful and ready for October 8th.

Only A REAL Witch??

People say that a real witch, Wiccan, or *in some cases* pagan can initiate another into whatever group they seek membership,  I call bullshit.

The problem I see with that logic is one, who initiated the first witch? And two, why does my faith need another's validation? I really want to touch on the second one since its the one that I really care about out if the two, so lets.

Many pagans who have felt the upmost joy in leaving Christianity know that after leaving we tend to want to separate ourselves as much as possible from the faith. Instead of being ones of the church, we are one with the woods, forests, and outside. Instead of spending our Sundays praying in church, we spend our 8 holidays, special occasions, and rituals praying, celebrating and rejoicing the cycles of nature and our lives.

Because of this highly decentralized culture, I find it odd that there seems to be significant factions within the pagan community which seeks the validation of an intermediary to justify ones religious membership. Think about it, why should you, a fully intelligent young man or woman capable of directing your life's path need some far off group from God knows where to officiate your allegiance to you divine figure(s)?

My approach to my faith is very independent, I rely on me to get me stuff done. If I screw up or falter in my responsibilities then it falls upon my shoulders. I understand the worth of having someone who is already proficient in the faith working and teaching you, but I see it as a practice that could prove detrimental if fully accepted by the community (having an intermediary deciding how valid your beliefs are).

In the end, your validation is just that, YOURS. Don't ever put your faith in someone else's hands or feel as if you must live up to the cultural standards of another. Be your own self made person if that is the route you choose.

A New Pagan Name?

In exactly two weeks I will have gone from an ex-Wiccan dedicant to a fully realized self initiated Pagan practitioner. With it I would like to do as I did when I became Wiccan and change my name. Though I already have one, its reflective of my old life in a past faith, something that I grew out of as time wore on. Now I want a new identity, something that will show a new me, but what?

I haven't been thinking too long about what the new name should be though I have been thinking about the topic of name changing for quite a while now. I want my name to mean something, to be slightly dramatic but not over the top, something to speak in front of the Gods.

There are a lot in the pagan field who believe that the religious name one bestows to oneself shouldn't be revealed or given to another for various reasons. For some its do you aren't cursed, to respect the privacy between you and your Gods, etcetera etcetera.

Once I'm able to come up with a good name it will remain private so that it stays between me and Deity, though the last name, DeShadara, will remain the same. That's simply because of me saying it so many times that its become more of a first name than anything else, so it will stay.

Thankfully I have fourteen days to figure out a good name so here's hoping I can make one in time!

Then again, its not a mandated thing, I can go without a religious name and go as I choose to call myself at the time. I do favor decentralizing my practices so that it doesn't become my own religious dogma, but if it helps to give myself an added layer of identity then I don't see why not.

This is something I should definitely ponder for a while, for now I will rest in the fury of my own thoughts.

Relationships and Faith

Interfaith dating is such a thorny subject, filled with a plethora of conditions, circumstantials, debate, worry and all that cheese, so is it worth it?

There are plenty on both sides that have their own testimonials on how delightful or terrible it is, so who's right?

To be honest, I believe that it depends on the couple since things as important as faith can better both involved or it could knock the couple sideways. Many know of the first hurtle that can come up when things go bad, one or both people involved believing that they eventually make the other convert.

That one issue is the most significant pain in the ass in my mind because it reeks of distrust and being shady. Limiting your actions and interactions to try and outrightly force or slightly edge another away from the beliefs that they may hold near and dear to them.

That was the prime issue that held me back from doing an interfaith relationship, worry that my partner may be a bible-thumper in disguise since he long knew of my Pagan status. Eventually I got over it since my resolution was to leave him if he ever tried to hit me with an ultamatum down the road. I trust him, but you never know 100%

So with all of this talk of being weary, do you think you should commit to an interfaith relationship? To be honest, my belief is that if you think its right for you then jump.

The key to any good relationship is to have good communication, if the both (or whatever the number may be) of you don't talk about the topic of faith beforehand,  then you could very well be setting yourself up for heart ache.

I would even go a step further, if it were me, to try and guage whether the person(s) I'm trying to date have a strong bond with their parents. Many people do, I recall a time where a girl who I liked had no issue with my faith, yet when her religious parents found out barred her from seeing me. It sucked, but eventually she stood for herself and gave them her ass to kiss.

If you know the person has strong ties with their parents, it may be a good idea to either be honest and let then know if they don't already, or form a good relationship with them beforehand.

Such wonder can be found in interfaith dating, for one you expand your awareness of other cultures and traditions, which can further your own practices and faith dedication. You can gain deep insight by revealing and being shown something that may be intensely private, which of course cements the relationship and the love you share.

At first it may be daunting, imagine going to a mosque, church, temple, or ritual space for the first time!

Though I would personally feel a bit nervous of such a prospect, if someone thinks of you in such a way to invite you to a religious event of theirs, take it. If you're not yet ready then speak up, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with.

I could go on and on, but in the end the decision is up to you, don't go in the situation with a negative frame of thought, that only poisons the well you're about to drink out of. Instead, keep an open mind and heart, that way you set the stage for great blessings you both can enjoy.

With communication, love, and honesty, any people of any faith can have long lasting bonds and love, don't limit yourself to any one person or faith tradition, you only do yourself a disservice.

Feeling....Witchy?!

I find it quite odd that for the longest I've stated that I had no belief in the subjects of magic(k) or divination, seeing it in many respects as non-scientific and without merit data wise.

And while I don't disparage against any who may believe in it, for me it just doesn't click, doesn't hold me. Yet here I am breaking out my old tarot cards that I almost always used back when I held divination as a valid personal practice. Since the Mabon ritual -which isn't even twelve hours old- I've felt...witchy so to speak.

I'm currently reevaluating my belief in the topic, considering that while it may not have a scientific grounding, that it could be beneficial on a spiritual level. It does tell quite a good story afterall, so why not use it if it could help in me see things in a different light? I'm always on the hunt for ways to diversify my experinces, this could be a great tool in doing just that.

The thought for now is to give it a few days to marinate in the old gear box to ensure I'm not just on ritual high, which it very well may be. I am hopeful, and may do a 180° when it comes to using some divination practices. For now, keeping a steady heart and an open mind.

Highs and Lows in Faith

There are times within a Pagan's faith that they begin to somehow feel distant from their God, practices waning and dedication flailing.

Its almost like a creeping rot disease where as much as you practice, celebrate, and study, you feel as if somehow its not enough. As if you are doing something wrong, how does one deal with something like this, and why does it happen?

A while ago, roughly a year or so, I went through this same exact thing, loving the Divine with all my heart yet feeling like the progress I was making wasn't enough. It got to the point where I thought about leaving Wicca (at that time I hadn't left it for general Paganism) and just floating around life to no end.

Thankfully that didn't happen and I eventually got out of the rut, able to fully implement my faith practices without discomfort.

So what happened? Well, though I'm by no means an expert, when it comes to my situation I can formulate a general theory. See, before the rut I was so into the Divine, so willing and ready to dive into whatever faith practices I came across that I left little time to live.

When people get into something they really like and something that they are really getting returns in it becomes hard to stop. In my case I allowed faith to get in the way of socializing, working on myself in a secular sense and essentially drowning in Wicca this, meditation that.

Over an extended period of time I believe that I naturally became repelled by it, mentally tired of always doing religious stuff, I needed separation. At that time I didn't understand let alone care to, I had what made me happy and I'd be damned if I decided to slow down.

For me at least, this was the very problem, lack of moderation. When doing anything you must take it in bites and pieces, do too much and you risk choking, keep piling it on and serious drawbacks become apparent. The same us especially true with faith, learn to restrict some things and live a multi-faceted life, expanding in secular, religious, scholastic and social arenas.

Sometimes even that is not enough and you may need a break from it all to work on new endeavours, but dont think that you have to be in pagan mode 100% of the time. Realize that you're not a robot, and as such you need some downtime to take a vacation.

Mabon Ritual

I hope everyone had a good Mabon celebration! I know I did,  and goodness was it tiring!

This was my very first public ritual, doing it in full view of the city as they hustled and bustled to and from work. Surprisingly nothing happened as I performed it, which was excellent since my intention was not to cause trouble but raise awareness.

In my own little way, by me doing this ritual in full light of day people walking and driving by would be able to see a religious practice alien to their own. By that, they become aware that the comfy little city they call home hosts those who belong to different traditions. Its not direct, but it does show the diversity of faiths instead of a homogeneous blob they may very well be used too.

But there was another reason for this ritual, and that was to prove to myself that I would be willing to celebrate my faith no matter the circumstances. With my Day of Conversion coming up, I wanted to make sure that I was able to walk the talk of bravery and resilience despite the pressures.

For some reason the memory of the cleansing sticks to my mind. It was quite dramatic, the wind blowing through the park, swirling clouds of smoke all around as I waved the sage around, calling the aspects if Divinity to guide me.

The smoky cloud traveling all down the roads to tell of ritual, a sacred act occurring yards away from them to celebrate the coming of Autumn.

The smell is still clings to my fingers as I type, even after washing my hands to try and remove its scent.

I hope the wildlife take advantage of the piles of peanuts I left all around the lake for them to eat.

Anyway, for now I sleep. . .

YOU Are The Circle!

[Picture Source]
I feel that I must state again and again to some practitioners that having a magical circle is not absolutely necessary when conducting ritual. It is but one of many practices that can be employed, but is not by any means the end all be all of Pagan worship.

The circle,  by which I mean the holy space that is used to channel the energies of the divine is within each and every one of us. Having a physical marker has no power unless we give it that power, but by us simply being of the Divine we are granted some of its potent energy. It all rests within the confined yet vast expanses of the mind, depending upon our worldly outlook we may shackle or set our spirits free to whatever belief attempts to restrain us.

Unless it is your choice, do not let a layer of salt, a circle of stones or a weave of ribbons determine your level of protection, for you are always protected. Have that certainty and etch it into your very being so that you never feel compelled to look outward for gratification,  but in the mirror.

Plans for Mabon 2013

Endless Waiting

Laying in bed watching the minutes tick by, second by second as I await the arrival of dawn. Dreading as the moon shines her dazzling rays, just beginning her nightly trek across the sky. Soon I pray the Sun will rise from his deep slumber to grace me with the ability to celebrate the arrival of the equinox, but I have so long to wait.

Patience, a virtue I thoroughly lack, eats away at the edges of my sanity, threatening to make me snap.

Be still DeShadara, it will arrive soon. Until then I will stay in this period of endless waiting...

Do not claim to be about beauty and righteousness if you know that deep in your heart slithers the dank drunkenness that gives mothers their tears.

Nature = Deity

I have a hard time understanding people who say that God and creation are different somehow. If whatever deity form(s) made the universe what it is then isn't the spirit of it within all?

Autumn Lessons

As Autumn's cold grip clenches the land, there is a shift from the outward and celebratory nature of the heat to the inward reflective period of the cool.

With this shift, we must look within ourselves and think about what changes we want to make as the season progresses. What bad habits should we inhibit or good qualities should we pick up? As with the tarot card of Death, this is the time of new beginnings where the old is laid to rest so that the youth of possibilities may rise.

When I apply this to myself I think about the need for me to become more spiritual and celebrate the Gods more. My fluctuation from celebratory in nature to more stagnate in faith leads me with a spiritual hole I want filled, so stagnation will die with the summer's passing. What will rise is a stronger and improved spirituality.

The Autumn Sun Rises!

The happiness I feel seeing this knows no bounds! Walking to the lake to give an observance for the day of Mabon when I see this beauty rising from the abyss. Quite a beauty! How enchanting it is to know that the dark year is upon us to put the Sun to sleep. May we all feel the blessings that come with the cold hand of night. .

I found a pretty little land turtle as I was walking to my local lake!