Okay, not EVERYTHING is ready for October, but beside I few spare candles and a lighter I need to buy, everything is all set for my Day of Conversion ceremony.
Now, once I celebrate I will be, in my eyes, I full fledged Pagan. Though it took nearly five years of waiting, I finally feel as if I'm at the point where I will be able to take the first steps of fully realizing my spiritual path.
Don't take the five years too seriously, being that I'm just hitting twenty and for the last four out of those five years being spent learning next to nothing (100% broke and for the most part without internet connection) I feel like now would be the perfect time for me to reset my religious counter. That means that starting the moment after I officiate myself on October 8th, 2013 I will go from five year Pagan to day one of following the path.
It sounds quite drastic but is something I've felt needed to be done for quite a while now. Most of my time was spent in a not so happy place from a religious perspective and by doing this I feel that I'm putting a nail in that coffin; gone, but never forgotten. That release is just what I need, so I'll take it with a smile on my face and with an "S" on my chest.
The first order of business is not to reduce my practice to the basics, but to rebuild from the foundation up, much like The Tower in the tarot. By drilling down and overviewing from step one, I can quickly rebound and launch into a new stage of ritual and closeness to the Gods. I'm not daunted by the work ahead, I'm just happy that I'm finally in a position where I will be able to work on myself in the most important of aspects.
Faith has gotten me through a lot over these years, has increased as time wore on and has been the only thing that was really with me when all felt lost and I, abandoned. I will swear my allegiance to the whole of nature, getting in touch with all of its sides, both the light and dark and twilight areas. To learn of its functions on a religious as well as scientific perspective, so that the two will mingle in a cohesive mix.
On a spiritual level I realize that my rituals are lacking in zest, not in a dramatic flamboyant way, but in meaning and symbolism. Being that I'm so in my head and stiff, I hardly if ever move when I'm doing rituals, mainly keeping my words and actions in my head rather than actually doing them, which I know is quite odd for many Pagans. Loosen up, get out of my head and convert that love and devotion into movement and pride of the feminine and masculine energies within. Its a waste not not use it, so I need to set my feet and voice box aflame with action!
Easier said than done, but I realize that I need a holistic approach to invigorate my inner drive, as it will it, so shall it be.
In any case, I know that with a lightened mind and joyful heart, careful planning and watchful eye, I will be successful and ready for October 8th.
No comments:
Post a Comment